She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
