I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
