I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
