I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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