I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
