apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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