we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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