she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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