I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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