i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You've changed since you got that strap on
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
