Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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