I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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