The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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