Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
