The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
