bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
