Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
