But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
