I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
