He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
