is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
