I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
