If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Never joke about your clitoris.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
