I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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