And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
