I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
