thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
