Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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