Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
