he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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