Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if only i could text you this smell
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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