I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
