Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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