there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize