it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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