it wasn't lemon gatorade
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
