I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm really busy with my period
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
