i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
