he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
