is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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