explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
