as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
