Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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