On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
