I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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