she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
