1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
