im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
