in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
