My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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