i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
