I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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