the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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