I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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