Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
