Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Everything about him screamed your future.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
