Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
